Because I enjoy a nice date;

I’ve decided that starting one’s day by reading the paper is as pleasant as waking up every morning to a symphony of your beloved’s bodily noises as they blatantly scratch their behind, grunt and roll over onto the most comfortable arc of their beer gut.

I’d much rather my world begin with intrigue and subtlety, then ever so slowly reveal its flaws as the day rolls on. You know, a day that wines and dines me a little.

My proposed solution? News delivery via attractive maidens and/or suited gentlemen, each hired to hand out gloom-sequential newspaper pages, accompanying treats and sporadic embraces throughout one’s day.

I will write to The Sun accordingly.

wanderings of a wonderer and vice-versa.

Because I enjoy a nice date;